I recollect how 2016 was the year of heartbreaks and breakups. Even, Ae Dil Hai Mushkil, an Indian romantic drama film written and directed by Karan Johar, gave us an amazing breakup song that made it to the hit list of the year’s best songs.
But, are relationships so much like favorite songs that keep changing or more like the changing rhythm of the song synchronized to the consistent tempo?
Honestly, neither I know the answer, nor many others like me. (Comment if you do!) However, why talk about the destination when the journey has a lot more to offer?
So here I am with something for the couples in 2017!
It’s FEBRUARY! That one month for which most COUPLES wait to celebrate their lovely bond with each other and SINGLES…., Okay! Let’s not go there for now! 😉 (I understand what single people feel like in this month).
Jokes apart; Although since day one of school, we have learned the basics of education, i.e A B C D of academic lessons, there remains a lesson that not all get to learn and that is nothing but Love & Relationships.
We all love Shah Rukh Khan – The King of Romance.
One man who has time and again brought a beautiful manifestation of Love and Romance in our lives. No denying that, at the same time, he has also given us a new perspective like it was in Ae Dil Hai Mushkil – “Ek tarfa pyaar ki taakat hi kuch aur hoti hai… Auron ke rishte ki tarah ye do logon mein nahi bant-ti; Sirf mera Haq hai ispe…”
So, having known what Love feels like, there are basics or say, A B C D of Love & Relationships that you either learn the hard way or read about in books and fairy tales to know about.
According to me, here is A-Z of what love and relationships are all about.
A is to Admire
Admiring is what your relationship needs to feel alive. Admiring helps you to be amorous and adoring, and let go of anger. A little affection shown towards each other goes a long way.
B is for Behavior
For a relationship to work, both of you need to know what your beliefs about relationships are. Your understanding about conflict and arguments, about money, honesty, lifestyle, habits and a lot many other things plays a crucial role in building yourself as a supporting partner. Also, it is no surprise that these beliefs drive your behavior at a deep level towards each other. Keeping a clear understanding of who the other person is as an individual and what made them so, can take you countless miles together.
C is for Communication
Communication is not only about speaking out, but is a lot more about how often do you listen to the other person and how patiently you think about the ongoing conversation. Communicating your feelings is equally important. This develops with confidence you show in the other person and your own self. Whatever be the situation, being there for your partner is important in difficult times; even if your relationship is having issues. You must also discuss about your say regarding commitment towards each other. Clarity of thought is important and you can mould the relationship the desired way without trying to assemble its pieces after it falls apart. The best part is to learn how to communicate together in a way that works for you both.
D is for Doubts
There is no fairy tale or relationship that does not go through this phase of doubt. Every relationship does at some point, but you need to learn and ensure to be able to discuss them and hopefully work through them. Also, acting instantly on such doubts can be of no help but can make matters worse. Give time; to the issue to be resolved and to each other to understand the issue and then arrive at decisions/conclusions.
E is for Enthusiasm
Energy and excitement are the fuel to your relationship. How much do you both own? Give this a deep thought. Excitement in your life and the excitement you bring into your relationship is something that you need to ponder about. How much effort do you put into keeping the interest of your partner, all into you? The life of a relationship lies in the excitement levels you create for each other every time you communicate through actions, gestures, words and emotions. Being enthusiastic is not a quality of relationship, but it’s a need today.
F is about Friendship
If I had to put it across in a single sentence, it’s this – Friendship keeps relationships lasting longer than lust does. Asking questions to each other about everything you wish to talk about, learn about each other and spending time together is a must. Not only your likes and dislikes, fantasies, talk about one another’s hopes and fears and learn how to deal with them. Not to forget, friendship is nothing without fun. So have as much fun as possible and as often as you can! Making friends appears easy, but has more impact than you know in a relationship. Friendship can often drive off the parking space when critical things like career, financial pressures, children, take control of your life. I have seen many relationships falling apart due to this. But, I have also learned that you must focus on the positives, fun aspects of your relationship rather than dwelling on the negative.
G is for Generosity
Who are you? Do your belongings and possessions define you as an individual? No. Certainly not. So never define yourself by what you own or your status or appearance. It’s the generosity and kindness that speaks louder than materialistic things. In case of dilemma, give your partner the benefit of doubt and be generous with yourself. Be good to your heart and soul and grow together as one single entity in a relationship.
H stands for Happiness
The hardest moment is not those when tears flow down your eyes, but when you have to hide them behind a smile on your lips. Always remember to be happy! Seeking happiness together through small gestures and words will help you be happier not just in your relationship, but within yourself.
I is for Intimacy
Something that not all like to talk about, but can’t avoid thinking about it. Intimacy is the backbone of a lifelong relationship. And it is both, physical and emotional intimacy. Make yourself the person who your partner can rely on at any point in time. Mould your relationship into a safe place for you and the other person to share your innermost secrets with each other. And keeping things interesting follows.
J is for being Joyful
Give yourself and your partner a reason to smile each day. Even if you can’t perfect all the things throughout the day, making one moment special can be good enough for sun shines and joy all day. Long drives, learning a new hobby together are a few things to get close and closer to each other each day.
K is for Kindness
A simple thought – when we can be kind to strangers as we travel when outdoors each day, we can be kind to ourselves too. And you know you deserve that bit.
L is for Listening
To listen to each other is a skill that not many possess! Laugh, Lighten up and don’t take yourselves too seriously—life’s too short!
M stands for Memories
Moments pass but memories last forever. Write all the special moments you have spent together. When times get tough, you can open it up and relive those moments; the joy of reading through those will make you feel better. However, there is a mandate – make memories together! Live new experiences and live out your fantasies together, like there’s no tomorrow!
N is about Non-Verbal Communication
Like I mentioned above, gestures speak louder than words. Non-verbal communication is much more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
O is for Optimism
Being optimistic is not just a thought, it is the energy that you hold in an environment. Your happiness is dependent on what you think. Positive thinking makes you more fun to be around, reduces stress, and generally makes life better.
P is for Politeness
Politeness can be forgotten about easily once we are in a relationship. We are polite and lovely to strangers and colleagues and then we come home and become horrible. Work together, don’t be too mature all the time—be silly and play games. Work out where your priorities lie—work or home? Prioritize your hobbies and work. Patience will help your relationship travel a long way.
Q is for Quantity Time
If some people said, don’t bother about quantity, IGNORE THEM. Quantity time is equally important as quality time. The time you spend on your relationship counts and it is this time when you end up with beautiful memories and unexpected moments to cherish for a lifetime.
R is to Respect
Not just respect the age and experience, but also the opinions, individual choices and feelings of your partner. Respect and successful relationships go hand in hand. Making an effort to be romantic is also important as it’s nothing that happens all of a sudden. It takes time and effort. Respect the emotions and effort your partner makes for you to feel good.
S is for Stress
If I have to talk facts, most of the relationships suffer due to stress. Stress management or handling stress in the right way is important for your mental and physical health and also for the health of your relationship. Support each other and stand up for one another in both, public and in private.
T is to be Thoughtful
When it’s about your partner, telling them that you are thinking about them is extremely important. These tiny efforts count. Remember to always be thoughtful, do little things for each other and let them know.
U is for Unconditional
Conditions can only follow where there is a price. And you do not buy love. Accept each other unconditionally—the mantra you must follow. However, it is hard to really love and accept each other unconditionally. You got to work on this, consistently.
V is to Value
Value is not just what you give but exchange to be precise. Recognize the great things about each other to increase the value you share. And, most importantly, be vulnerable with each other—this allows for real intimacy.
W is to be Wise
Being wise starts from you. While you might feel like doing something for others, you must also something for your own self. Wisdom is something the Dalai Lama suggested we all pursue.
X is everything that is ‘X-Rated’
Dive down deep in love, both sexual and non-sexual with your partner. Getting intimate is a very important part of relationships and can keep the excitement alive as you get intimate.
Y is to be You
There are many things to spoil you, but very few to make you, you. The “me time” is a must every now and then. You can’t always be rushing around doing things for your partner. Relax and just do something for YOU.
Z is for Zeal; The Lifeline
Zing, every time you meet, zing every time you leave. Have the zeal to make it work anytime you feel you are missing out on something. Basically, Live, Love and Love more.
Wishing you all